Learning to Love
by An-Ill-Made-Nymph
Summary: Over his life, Sirius reflects on love. And now other people do too... The chapters are really short on average about 100 words , so it won't take you long to read. Or review. hint, hint.
1. 1971

Dedication: This is for my two fanfiction loving friends.

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1971

This is the year that I learned about love. Not the sort you are meant to hold for family, that's an obligation, not real.

Not the kind I am at some point meant to have for girl(s), the chance of that happening is doubtful.

No, this love I have discovered is a stronger kind, a lasting kind.

This year I made friends. Only they are more then friends,

They are brothers, more then brothers:

Marauders.

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Authors note: This is my first, so it isnt very good.

Please review it, though!


	2. 1973

1973

The doubtful has occurred.

I like girls. They're nice to look at, but when they start talking… well that's different.

Especially Lily Evens.

Not only because if she starts, she never stops, but because of James.

Remus, Peter and I, we like girls, plural. James, he likes girl, singular.

He says he will marry her, one day.

At our age? I think its limiting options, personally.

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Review please, even if you think it is bad.


	3. 1975

I couldn't really be bothered to find out in which year James saved Snape, I think it was in the 4th or 5th, but I'm not sure. So I tried to be vauge...

I love you Giorgia! In 51 ways! YAY!!!!

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1975

If I learned one thing the past few years it was the power of forgiveness.

I am extremely glad for the friends I have, and I find it hard to believe that they still want to be my friends.

Especially Moony.

What I did, it was wrong. I'll never forgive myself for betraying him like that.

That's why it pains me to see Prongs like this.

He hides it well, but I know he is really depressed because of Lily.

He won't even talk about her with us anymore.

He continues to act confident, asking her out at every possible moment, but I know the rejection hurts him more then he'll let on.

Even though he won't talk to us about it, it doesn't stop us discussing it.

Wormtail, the stupid git, thinks Prongs should give up and go out with someone else.

Moony thinks he does have a chance; all he has to do is deflate his head (he also suggested I do the same, he has some nerve).

I agree with him, not about the head deflation thing, but that he has a chance. One reason is that it's just to cliché _not_ to work.

Besides, Lily hates him, it would be worse if she was indifferent.

Then she wouldn't think about him at all.

I wish I was indifferent to my parents.

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This chapter was almost twice as long as the last, and so I hope your happy, surferchick55.

Please Review!


	4. 1977

This chapter is kind of short... I wrote it while enduring 2 hours of Mrs Renshaw, and edited during a 2hour block of Miss Ackerly. So this chapter is dedicated to them, my oh so interesting teachers. Not that they will ever know.

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When I look at James and Lily, I realise that this is what I want most.

I want what they have.

I believe James would die for her.

Granted, he would die for Remus, Peter or I: but that's different.

We are his brothers.

I am happy for James; he has everything he has ever wanted.

This doesn't surprise me, as James has always had whatever he wanted.

Lily is the only thing he's had to work for.

I sound jealous, I know.

That would be because I am.

Who isn't?

I can't wait to meet my Lily, because life alone is very dull, really.

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R&R please!


	5. 1980

If Harry wasnt born in 1980, I blame GillyBean. I also dedicate this, very short, chapter to her.

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I finally understand the love between parents and their children.

I don't like to admit it, but until Harry was born I had always believed that children earned their parents love.

But seeing Harry with James or Lily, I understand.

The most convincing bit is that I feel it too, looking at him.

I feel so proud that one day, when he has grown into the amazing man I know he will be, I will be able to say that I had an influence on him.

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Please reveiw it, even though its really very short. And I'm sorry for that! The next one WIL be longer, I promise!


	6. 1981

This would be dedicated to Isabel L'Envers, but as you haven't favourited me, and because you ditched me on Friday, even though you were sick, it isn't. Dedicated to you, that is. Not one bit.

And believe it or not, this is actually longer then the last one!

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I used to think I hated my parents. 

I know better now.

That hatred, it was nothing.

Nothing compared to the hatred I feel for Peter;

My _friend_, my _brother_, my fellow _marauder._

Wormtail.

I am going to kill him.

Then I am going to find Moony and apologise.

My _friend_, my _brother_, my fellow _marauder_.

How sorry I am that I mistrusted you.

I hope that you will forgive, like you always have.

No matter what I do.

You are truly the better man.

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Please reveiw! I added this chapter rather quickly, no? Its because I felt guilty about the last ones shortness.


	7. early  1994

Moony forgives me, as always.

And he thinks that he, himself, needs forgiveness.

HA.

That's funny, Moony, really.

He has aged a lot, then so have I.

Men old before our time.

Oh well.

Youth isn't everything.

Harry too, looks far too old for a boy of only thirteen.

Harry is already growing into the man I always knew he would be, with no help from me.

It saddens me, but I resolve to have a good relationship with him from now on– even if it lands me back in Azkaban.

It's not so bad, Azkaban.

Full of all my favourite people.

And those dementors?

Endearing, really.

Really.


	8. 1995

I took ages to upload because I didn't really know what to do next. I hope this is okay, I wrote it last night at around 3(am). It is longer though.

It is dedicated to my Baby, Bellatrix. And to Gill who named her.

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When I left my parents house that last time, I had no intention of ever going back.

And yet, here I am.

I should have known I would end up back here, and like last time, as a prisoner.

A prisoner who is constantly made to clean.

Even worse then being stuck inside cleaning is watching _him_, parading around, with his big nose and slimy hair.

His tales of adventure and intrigue.

One thing that keeps me sane is knowing he can never get what he wants most.

Git, like he even had a chance.

When he isn't here, I guess it's not so bad.

Moony comes and goes, and the Twins are fun.

Harry will be here soon.

I don't like keeping things from him; I should know what it's like to be isolated.

But, as Molly so kindly reminds me, _Dumbledore _doesn't want him knowing anything.

I think that it's a mistake.

Dumbledore has become too detached; forgetting what it's like to be on the outside. What its like to be deceived by someone you trusted.

Loved.

He probably never knew in the first place.

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Reveiw please, please, please!


	9. 1996

I wasn't sure how to end this, but I really knid of had to do something, and this is what I came up with. So, tell me what you think. If I can be bothered, I might do another chapter from the point of view of say, Remus or Tonks, but I dunno. Which is why you really should review!!!!!

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In the end it was what killed him.

Love.

I watched him change over the years, learn love.

I never did, never needed too

I waited for the moment;

The moment I could teach him

the final lesson about love.

That it is useless.

It cannot stop death,

It cannot stop the Dark Lord:

No one can

Look whose laughing now

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REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	10. 1996 part 2

If it wasn't clear, the last chapter was written from the POV of Bellatrix.

This one is from Tonks'. Next up is Remus. Then I don't know.

This is getting rather alot more complicated then it was originally meant to be. oops.

The thing is, is that, it makes intuitive sense to dedicate this to Mr. Moss.

Noone besides me needs to find that at all funny.

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In the end it was what killed him.

Love.

Love for Harry.

Love for James, love for Lily.

Love for Remus.

Bellatrix may think she ended him,

but she didn't.

Because death isn't the end

Not for someone like Sirius

It's the beginning

And that's why,

In the end,

He won that duel

Bellatrix never had a chance

And even if she kills me,

like she so dearly wants to,

she will still lose.

Because I will go on loving.

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Review please!


	11. 1996 part 3 the end?

In the end it was what killed him.

Love.

The love he had for us

The love for James

For Harry

Sirius and I learned the power of love together

Learned the value of trusting friendships

Sirius embraced love

but still I falter

Afraid to loose again

Afraid the loss of me will hurt

As much as I've been hurt

Sirius was always the braver man

and loved without forbearance

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found this while cleaning my room.

small tangent: why were you cleaning your room Bethany? oh, so I could move into my sisters room with my four other sisters. three of whom are incredibly messy.

so I thought I would upload it. I think it was the end.

oh well, it is now.

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_THE END_


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